Fear First. Logic Later.
Pain has more gravity than potential
Imagine this
You open a sales call by asking what they want
They say faster workflows
Better insights
Less chaos
But that is not the real answer
That is a socially acceptable one
What they really want
Is to avoid the fallout
To not get blamed
To not look behind
To not be exposed for letting things slide
To not feel like they failed their team
To not admit it has been broken for longer than they care to say
This is the part most sellers never hear
Because they never ask
Here is what the brain does under pressure
It does not look for upside
It looks for cover
Loss is louder than gain
Always
It is why people do not switch from bad tools
Why they stay with average vendors
Why they stall even when they say they are ready
Because the cost of change is real
And the pain of risk outweighs the pull of possibility
And yet
Most sellers pitch outcomes
Results
Improvements
Opportunity
But the buyer is not trying to win
They are trying not to lose
Not to lose budget
Not to lose status
Not to lose the confidence of their team
Not to lose the little control they still feel
If you want the deal to move
You cannot just ask about the pain
You have to help them sit in it
Without triggering resistance
So instead of interrogating
You cushion
You calibrate
You invite
Ask:
“Just so I understand—how has this been showing up for you lately?”
“If I may—what has the ripple effect been for your team?”
“I want to make sure I see your world through your eyes—what have you already tried?”
“Curious—what’s made this tough to prioritize until now?”
“What does it feel like when you imagine this still being a problem three months from now?”
“What happens if nothing changes?”
These are not pressure tactics
They are moments of clarity
They move the buyer from coping to confronting
Because until they say it out loud
You are solving a problem they have not admitted yet
Because people do not buy the best thing
They buy the safest bet
And until you make the cost of doing nothing feel real
No spreadsheet will save the deal
P.S.
The moment they stop running from the problem
Is the moment the sale begins
The Buyer Shrink
🛋️ Guilty until proven innocent