If they don’t feel safe, they won’t tell you the truth
And if you don’t hear the truth, you’re not selling. You’re guessing.
The fastest way to get ignored in a sales conversation?
Start talking about yourself.
The fastest way to get invited into a real one?
Make it safe for the buyer to talk about themselves.
We like to think the secret to selling is the slickest pitch, the sharpest deck, the story that “wows” the room.
But here’s the part we forget:
No one cares about your product.
Not until they feel safe enough to care about their own problem.
We’ve all seen it.
The sales face walks in — smiling, nodding, demo queued up.
The buyer? Arms crossed. Eyes scanning. Coffee gripped like a shield.
Then it begins:
“We work with companies just like yours. We can save you 20% in year one…”
The buyer’s phone lights up.
Relief.
“Sorry, I’ve got to take this.”
You know how it ends.
The pitch goes nowhere — not because it was bad, but because the room wasn’t safe enough for the truth to show up.
We walk in thinking we need to impress, perform, prove.
But buyers aren’t looking to be impressed.
They’re looking to be understood.
They want to feel seen.
And that starts with safety.
Here’s what most sellers miss:
When we lead with our agenda, we activate the buyer’s defense system.
The brain is wired to detect bias, filter noise, and protect against being “sold.”
But when we break that script — when we slow down and center their reality instead of ours — curiosity takes over.
The pitch turns into a conversation.
The wall starts to drop.
The fastest way to lose a deal?
Make it about you.
The fastest way to open one?
Make it safe for the buyer to tell the truth.
Try this:
“Look, I’m not here to pitch something you don’t need.
I just want to understand what’s actually been on your mind.
What’s one thing you wish someone would help you fix?”
Then stop.
Let the silence stretch.
Let the answer be messy, uncertain, even awkward.
Because when buyers see that you’re not here to sell — you’re here to listen — the real conversation begins.
Ask what’s important to them.
Mirror their language.
Let them lead.
And when you do speak, tie everything back to their vision — not your product.
Not your case study.
Not your ego.
Safe isn’t soft.
Safe is how the truth gets in.
Because product stories belong on the website.
But real conversations?
Those only happen when the room feels safe enough to have them.
P.S.
If your buyer never says what’s really bothering them, you didn’t miss the close.
You missed the point.
🛋️ The Buyer Shrink
Guilty until proven innocent.